Last night I had ten shots of soju, which is anywhere from 20% to 40% alcohol. They tasted like cough syrup. I only had them when I had to, like during love-shots with Aiden or when we were playing Baskin Robins or when everyone was just expecting me to. I also had two cans of cider, clams, octopus that was alive at the start of the meal and submerged into boiling water and pink by the end.
Connie-teacher, the former desk-teacher who left last week, was back in town to visit. She didn't get to see the Kinder kids unfortunately, but she got to see the older kids. Her boyfriend is Aiden, a very tall Korean man who likes to dance and who speaks about as much English as Australia does Korean, though his ear for English is much better than Australia's for Korean. He's a wild guy. Very funny, a little effeminate, dressed in a hideous sweater vest. He said he was jealous of my nose and he poured me a glass of cider and then everyone yelled "Congratulations!" and the Koreans shook my hand so we might be married. He also got really drunk. Everyone but me and Joyce-teacher did. She knows all sorts of odd translations because she's dated almost exclusively Westerners, and revealed that the rumors about black penises should always be believed. She asked me if she looked like she drank a lot, which I don't know how to answer that! Not even what would be a safe, complimentary answer that she wanted to hear, but I don't know how to judge that on looks alone. She hadn't been drinking much throughout the night, less than me actually, so I said no, and that seemed to be a safe answer. She made her arms into a heart over her head and everyone cheered that I was a nice guy. Then all the women asked if they looked like drinkers and I said no, no, no, no but I giggled on the last one because it was just so odd so they all thought I was lying or teased me for lying anyway.
It was established that I was the youngest by a month. Maya-teacher was born in November, 1989 and I was in December, 1989. So after I had my first shot or maybe second shot of soju, Scary-teacher said she'd call my mom. Pretty-teacher invited England and I to travel with her sometime, maybe to Jeju. Scary-teacher also invited England to her house sometime. Apparently she's very concerned about her well-being, I think because she's the only woman native teacher at the school and she just doesn't know many people yet so it was a nice outreach but unexpected.
I'm still pretty reserved around everyone so this was another get-to-know-you dinner where everyone asks about me. What do you like to do? How do you like Korea? Where do you want to go? etc. And Scary-teacher asked if I was still boxing and if I'd fought the champion again and Aiden likes boxing so he was really interested. There was a lot of teasing mock-boxing directed at me and flexed muscles and Pretty-teacher compared the firmness of our arms and couldn't decide who won so we arm-wrestled. He took it very seriously. We had to go left-handed because his right hand had been crushed in an industrial accident and still recovering, though mostly better, and I lost. Then Scary-teacher challenged me. I didn't know if I should win or lose so at first I'm asking everyone around me what to do while she's pushing on my arm to go down down and I was holding firm in the starting position. Not to brag, but I'm much stronger than her. So when everyone was cheering my name, I gently and easily put the back of her wrist to the table. She said I was a man. She also told me to call her "Noona" which is older sister in Korean. It seems to fit with our interaction because she reminds me of an older sister. I have the physical superiority, but there's still that looming dread that if she's in a bad mood, she'll beat the living hell out of me. Minnesota then challenged Aiden and Minnesota is a big guy. I'd guess he has 30 kgs on me and he's only about 15 cm taller. He was a football player, basketball player, and baseball player in high school and college. And even he lost to Aiden so I didn't feel so bad. At the second place we went, we had a private room on the corner of the building and Aiden would sneak outside while everyone thought he was pissing and open the window then slyly join in on the conversation much to the confusion of everyone. Sometimes he'd play badminton with the other drunk people on the sidewalk. The rackets were provided by the bar/restaurant.
Wisconsin has always been a quiet person, nice enough, but pretty reserved. But as she got drunk, she couldn't stop talking. She was asking me about if Korean neighborhoods, which we all agree are pretty much the same from one to the next, are actually quite different to Koreans and we just don't have the language or cultural context to tell and then she compared it to how cities in the US are so vastly different and if I was slapped down in LA one day and Miami the next, would I be able to tell the difference? Which I don't think I could honestly. But she kept explaining what she meant, going further and repeating herself, and getting on tangents, and she was obviously drunk and somehow I got saved from further conversation--I think when she turned to Connie-teacher and Aiden and the now-sleeping Maya-teacher because Connie-teacher was explaining that Scary-teacher's English name is Sue because her Korean name is Jisoo and they were asking about Wisconsin's Korean name. Wisconsin is actually from Masan, Korea, but she's adopted. She was given up by her family when she was three months. About this time, maybe 1:30, I took the pulse of the group. The raucous noise had settled to quiet conversations. Scary-teacher (Jisoo, Sue, Noona, whatever) was talking about Tiger Kinder-class with Minnesota and how seven years old is a sensitive age for Korean boys which is why Billy acts out so much. England was discussing how love and language works in her opinion as she had lived in Italy for a stint and dated an Albanian man and their shared language was Italian, which is something they were both still learning so she was translating from English to Italian and he'd hear it in Italian and translate it to Albanian then he'd think of a reply in Albanian and translate to Italian and so on. Pretty-teacher had turned to texting someone and Maya-teacher was still asleep, passed out from too much soju. And I listened in on Wisconsin as she was asking about Korean opinions on abortion. The pulse was pretty dead and I was tired and while still enjoying myself, not as much as drinkers would have you believe. Alcohol made me a bit dizzy and that first shot made my heart race, but mostly I was at my usual level of enjoyment. Then Wisconsin cried. Everyone turned to see why and comfort her, of course, but she kept crying and she couldn't really say why but she tried to explain through the tears and mostly what came out was "I'm just really emotional sometimes. I'm sorry, guys. I'm done now," which, of course, she was not. And that was fine. Everyone was really nice and listened and tried to cheer her up and we agreed there were two effects of soju and that was tears like hers or sleep like Maya-teacher. Wisconsin made some cheesy speech about how we should make every second count, you know? And Aiden listened very intently and said, "I don't know what you said."
We left about 2:00 AM. Everyone seemed pretty tired and ready to go till Minnesota brought up karaoke, or nor-ray-bangs. I had no idea where we were but Pretty-teacher was going to head back too so I'd walk with her till it was time to part ways. Or so I thought. Then she got a second-wind and decided on nor-ray-bang too. So I'm asking which way Herald School is and no one was confident but I got pointed in the right direction. Scary-teacher had left earlier after a phone call, but now I was the only one ditching karaoke so of course I got some flak for it. I made excuses and escaped a few clutches and got ready to go when Wisconsin took me by the shoulders. She was smiling at first and I was like "I'm tired. Next time I'll go. It's cold and I don't have a sweater" and so on but she started crying again. She must've spent ten minutes latched onto me, telling me she wasn't going to force me and that I should do this for myself as a writer and that she loves writing more than me and that I should make every second count. Everyone else had pretty much gone inside and said bye to me, but Pretty-teacher and half-asleep Maya-teacher stayed to escort Wisconsin in and after so long I had to look to them for some assistance which I eventually got and I eventually got home with plenty of things to write about.
Anyway, I love you.
